Perimenopause and menopause can be a difficult time for any woman due to hormonal fluctuations and midlife changes.

‘Midlife’ changes could be many different things – challenging relationships with parents, siblings, career experiences that haven’t sat well with you over the years, ‘empty nest’ as children move out of home into their new place or go off to uni, grief & loss that you haven’t processed – this can be losing a loved one or a concept coined by Julia Samuel ‘living loss’ that could be about loss of identity, health, purpose, confidence, self-esteem and/or relationship (s).

So, any unresolved past issues can crop up, for us in our ‘midlife’. And they do, don’t they?

For women who have experienced trauma – in childhood, abusive relationships or PTSD, this sensitive time of life can reopen old, unresolved wounds, resulting in symptoms such as anxiety, depression, or panic attacks. Even hot flushes & night sweats can be exacerbated.

These things can continue to trigger us, if not fully looked at, understood & processed. We can go the ‘ostrich syndrome’ route & supress them or look to explore these unresolved past issues. If we choose not to recognise & deal with any unresolved issues & past trauma, we risk that they will hold us back in both our present & future. And you don’t want that for yourself, do you?

We associate trauma and PTSD with the military or survivors of terrible disasters and the like. However, what we now know is that things such as childhood trauma and abusive relationships have the same affect on our nervous system. The person who experiences this can indirectly become conditioned to living in fight or flight mode – constant hyperarousal. It becomes a default setting in their nervous system. Dysregulation of our nervous system and the effect on our mental health can make our menopause symptoms more significant & severe.

We hold emotional baggage & energy in our body – viscerally & somatically & hence this will show up physically & mentally for ourselves. As Bessel Van der Kolk says: ‘The body keeps the score’.

Whether our hormone fluctuations of menopause can trigger a trauma reoccurrence is still unknown and more research is needed, but for the women affected, the familiar lack of emotional control can cause anxiety, hyperarousal & vigilance and can disrupt their lives. Their radar is always up, and this is draining, tiring, creates stuckness & immobility.

There are many ways to alleviate challenging symptoms including:

-Therapy or counselling

-Breathwork

-Take time off work to prevent burnout

– Journalling

-Join support groups
-Reduce/stop alcohol & caffeine

– Good gut health
– Walks in nature
– Yoga/Qigong

– Somatic exercises
– Tapping (EFT)

– EMDR/Wing wave coaching

– Support network – surround yourself with people who are supportive & empathetic

For many of these ways to alleviate symptoms, check out my YouTube channel videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-G0Z5rWo2itKiMZJ_6S0VIV3AbNK_5P_ & listen into me talking about the physical, psychological & emotional symptoms of perimenopause & menopause & how therapy can help support you during this time of personal loss, change & opportunity.

The earlier trauma is recognised, the quicker appropriate action can be taken to prevent symptoms lasting months or even years. HRT alone will not resolve the symptoms. Always speak to your health care provider for medical information. Yet therapy can too.  We need to ‘feel to heal’ and as Edith Eger says in her book The Gift “”The opposite of depression is expression. What comes out of you doesn’t make you sick; what stays in there does.” – Dr Edith Eger (Psychologist, Holocaust Survivor)

Easy said than done I know to look at the past, yet there is help & this is where I come in to support you with menopause ‘midlife’ therapy to look at unprocessed & unresolved issues & for you to be able to let it go. Therapy can really help to unpick an issue, memory from the past, so that it no longer bothers you, although you may never really forget it. Yet, it will no longer hold the same emotional ‘charge’ as previously.

And please don’t hesitate to get in touch, if unresolved past issues are exacerbating your midlife menopause experience. With my counselling experience, I can help you to process & heal from any past unresolved traumas, which can trigger & destabilise us during our perimenopause & menopause, as well as support with lifestyle modifications & cognitive & behavioural ways to manage your psychological symptoms of perimenopause & menopause.