Feeling & experiencing ‘loss’ in midlife

So, what better way to spend your Sunday morning, recovering from COVID, then to put pen to paper & to write a blog – and about loss. Today, in my case, my loss of health, as I take time to allow my body to rest & reset. My body’s way of telling me to slow down…

Loss is often referred to when we are grieving the passing of a partner, friend, family member, pet and you can fill in more blanks, I’m sure.

But what about the losses we experience in our daily lives? The covid pandemic has brought so much grief – losing loved ones, our connection with others (with restrictions as well as if we have or known others close to us shielding), sense of community & health anxiety.

Experiencing loss is part of life. We usually associate grief and sadness with the death of a person we loved but any kind of big change or serious loss, can cause a kind of grieving process, such as:

  • the end of a relationship or friendship
  • the end of a job (such as redundancy) or career (including retirement).
  • selling your home and moving house
  • children leaving home for university or setting up their own home/moving in with someone else
  • leaving home or college and saying good-bye to your old life and friends
  • the loss of good health, energy, mobility or the loss of a limb
  • an accident, diagnosis of ill health or financial problems
  • ‘what might have been’ – the end of a dream or future plans for yourself such as having a child or youthful ambitions

These are known as ‘living losses’. If you’re facing the ending of something that was important to you – it’s normal to feel deep sadness and pain. This is because the depth of grief that someone feels usually reflects the importance of the loss to that person.

And it can become & feel all to prominent too, during our midlife when we are experiencing our peri and/or menopause.

It’s important not to feel any guilt or shame about how you’re feeling or think that’s your grief is not appropriate. Any form of loss will need a time of re-adjustment.

My go to & gift to you today, is the work of Julia Samuel (I love her work) namely her pillars of strength. You can also take a look at her books & listen to her podcasts too (found on her website). https://juliasamuel.co.uk/pillars-of-strength.

And if you’d like to talk through your own living losses, talking therapy can provide that opportunity.

Get in touch with me here https://clarity-kent.co.uk/get-in-touch/.

Get In Touch


I offer face to face sessions locally  at 7 Oaks Counselling in Sevenoaks as well as telephone, video (Zoom) or walk & talk therapy.

I offer a free informal 20-minute session so that you can see if I’m the right therapist for you, to make sure you feel comfortable moving forward with therapy.

Drop me a line for support, using the form or the details below.

Please do check your Spam for responses as I endeavour to respond to your enquiry within 4 hours.

7 Oaks Counselling is on Hollybush Lane, off St Johns Hill (Dartford Rd), opposite Raffertys coffee shop.

 

Nic Pendregaust Qualifications & Accreditations

    By submitting this form you agree to the collection of your personal data including your name and email address for the purpose of responding to your enquiry and keeping you up to date with our services. Check out our privacy policy for the full story on how we protect, manage and use your submitted data

    This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.