‘Healthy’ boundaries in midlife – self-care for YOU.

What the heck are those?

“The edge of what belongs to us and what belongs to someone else”

Tricky huh? For ourselves & with and/or between others

What difficulties might you have with boundaries?

“I can’t say no”

“I‘m afraid of them and any potential conflict they may create”

“I can’t or I don’t stick to them”

“I find myself handing out more than I receive”

Do these challenges resonate with you?

Boundaries take many forms within relationships – we maybe talking privacy issues, sexual issues, and/or everyday interaction. Boundaries can be hard no’s, maybe’s & yes with limits. Boundaries can & do change over time – across situations & within different relationships

Creating healthy boundaries can help us be clear in how we communicate & to others, not take too much on, and to be happier and more fulfilled in life.

Here are some top tips:

Take time to get to know YOU and your WORTH

1.Often boundaries become hazy when we hold the belief that our value correlates directly to the amount we are prepared to ‘give away’ to others. Ensuring that we truly value & appreciate our own time & energy can prevent us from allowing it to be leeched away.

2.Define your ‘edges’

In every situation, get into the habit of asking yourself What am I responsible for?” and “What is outside of your remit?”

If someone asks you to do something, press pause & ask yourself “Is this something I am happy to do”? or, does it come at the expense of your own wellbeing?

Relationships can become conflicted by growing resentment that comes from one person regularly sacrificing their boundary. Often the other person is unaware that they may have crossed your boundary and it is your responsibility to draw it clearly.

3.Practice being assertive

Notice what you want and what you don’t and communicate those needs calmly & respectfully. Yes, it may not always go down well and that is often what stops us from asserting our needs for fear of upsetting others, creating conflict and potential discord. Remember, though you are not responsible for how others feel about your decisions.

Yes, you are allowed to SAY ‘no’ & to take care of yourself.

As the saying goes “Can’t pour from an empty vessel”

What can boundaries sound like?

What boundaries will you create for yourself?

And some reminders:

And, finally, some key words & phrases.

I can’t do that , but I can help you find someone who can

I appreciate the gesture, but in the future I would prefer ..

I can’t take on additional responsibility right now

I’m not comfortable discussing this topic with you

I’m uncomfortable with that you just said I did …..

Thanks for your concerns, but I can handle this

I can’t attend but I appreciate the invitation

I don’t give you permission to do ……… To me

I can’t do………….. But I’m open to trying ……..

I don’t feel safe so I’m going to leave

I won’t be spoken to in that manner

I’m allowed to change my mind

Thanks, but I’m not interested

I wish I could but I can’t

No thank you

No

Get those boundaries in place…self-care all the way

 

Make midlife your best life

Discover a ‘new’ lease of life

Be content. Clarity – live life well

If you’d like a personal cheerleader to work with you to reclaim your identity in midlife, discover a new YOU & regain YOUR lease of life.

Find me @ Nizels Golf & Country Club – Hildenborough

 

#Menopausecounselling #PeriMenopauseCoach #MenopauseSupport #Menopause #over40 #over50 #MenopauseHealth #MenopauseMatters #MenopauseHelp #MenopauseAdvice #PeriMenopause #PeriMenopauseHealth #PeriMenopauseSupport #Tonbridge #Sevenoaks #Hildenborough #nizelsgcc #letstalk #tonbridgemums #sevenoaksmums

 

Get In Touch


I offer face to face sessions locally  at 7 Oaks Counselling in Sevenoaks as well as telephone, video (Zoom) or walk & talk therapy.

I offer a free informal 20-minute session so that you can see if I’m the right therapist for you, to make sure you feel comfortable moving forward with therapy.

Drop me a line for support, using the form or the details below.

Please do check your Spam for responses as I endeavour to respond to your enquiry within 4 hours.

7 Oaks Counselling is on Hollybush Lane, off St Johns Hill (Dartford Rd), opposite Raffertys coffee shop.

 

Nic Pendregaust Qualifications & Accreditations

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