One minute you are up, next minute, you are down. You are mad. You are sad. You feel like you are all over the place. Craziness of midlife & the psychological impact at play – who is with me?
It used to be easy for us and others to follow our mood, but now we appear to be on an emotional rollercoaster where highs and lows are unpredictable and tricky to understand & make sense of.
Are you depressed? Are you going mad? Or are the annoying hormones at play?
During our midlife, it can feel like a confusing picture – do I have low mood or am I depressed?
During our midlife, past trauma can surface too – a kind of collision of trauma & menopause, and this could then cause underlying anxiety & reactive depression – with me?
It is important to make a distinction as quite often during our midlife, if we present with low mood, potentially a GP may prescribe us with anti-depressants. It is key to distinguish between a persistent low mood (aka depression) or a mood that has highs & lows that could be our annoying hormones at play – which is often referred to, as “flatlining” of our feelings & emotions – fluctuating energy levels & motivation dips & peaks. It is a ‘cannot be asked’ kind of mood, feeling like you are going through the motions, existing and not finding joy in your usual daily activities -does this resonate?
Do not worry, you are not alone. No, you are not going crazy, and you will not feel like this forever. But why are you so moody? It is all down to our annoying hormones.
Oestrogen perks us up and signals the production of serotonin, another mood booster. So, as your ovaries gradually stop producing as much oestrogen and progesterone, your moods can swing each time your body adjusts to a decrease in hormone levels.
Therefore, you might find you lose your temper for a week or two and then it gets better for a month or so. Peri/menopause-induced anger can feel different to having a normal strop – it can come out of nowhere, with you switching from calm to gritted teeth in a matter of seconds.
The same may go for feeling sad. However, these emotional shifts are different from depression, where an incredibly low mood is constant for two weeks or more.
Accept and be kind – ‘self-compassion’ all the way, baby!
What you are experiencing is incredibly uncomfortable but completely normal. It is not your fault, and it will pass. Write a post-it and stick it on your bedroom mirror that says: ‘It’s not me, it’s my hormones.’ Be gentle with yourself.
Let it out – better out than in, as they say!
The people, closest to you do not have telepathy. Let them know how you are feeling. Explain as best you can why you got teary, moody and/or angry. Tell them what you need – whether that is some space, an ear to listen or a hug.
This is where therapy can help too, to let out feelings & emotions in an impartial space – acknowledging the psychological symptoms of peri and/or menopause & work with me to identify tools, tips & techniques to manage them, plus a dose of self-compassion & self-care for you too!
Get trigger happy
Is there a pattern to your mood swings? Grab yourself a 6-minute diary from Amazon & get journalling about what is going on for you. Get out of your head. Could be things such as what you ate, how much sleep you have had, your exercise and how you felt at various times in the day.
If notebooks do not excite you, find a menopause app to play with. Who knows what you might discover that will help you balance your life better? Give the Balance app a try.
Breathe
If you do not already, it is time to integrate some relaxation exercise into your day? Self-care all the way.
Yoga and meditation are great ways to untangle your mind and body. Even if you just sit somewhere comfortably and spend five minutes breathing in for a count of six and out for a count of 12, you and your frayed nerves will benefit. A helpful one I find is breathing in for a count of 6, holding your breathe for a couple of seconds (imagine you are bobbing up and down in beautiful warm water, then breathe out for a count of 6 and repeat the bobbing visualisation – this is Qigong and with that…)
Qigong practice typically involves moving meditation, coordinating slow-flowing movement, deep rhythmic breathing, and a calm meditative state of mind. People practice qigong for exercise, relaxation, preventive medicine & self-healing. Join a local class or you can find videos on You Tube.
Have a turkey sandwich (Christmas is on its way – 8 weeks away!)
Eating certain foods can make menopausal mood swings more bearable. Complex carbs like oats and quinoa, protein-rich eggs, turkey, cheese, and Omega-3 packed fish can help stabilise your blood sugar and your mental state. Find a good nutritionist and ask them to create a plan for you. Thinks veggies – those leafy greens too!
Find the right meds (if this feels right for you)
If you have tried everything and your mood is consistently getting worse, chat to your GP.
Whether it is how to control mood swings naturally, Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT or anti-depressant medication for low mood), they are the experts and can help you find the right course of action for you. If your mood symptoms are related to the menopause, HRT can be more effective than antidepressants. Ask your GP if they would be suitable to you.
Supplements
Invest in a good multivitamin, think magnesium for sleep & omega 3 good fats for sustaining & managing energy. Supplements that can feed our cortisol levels and combat aches & pains.
Try to exercise regularly
Exercise releases endorphins – your brain’s own-brand pick-me-up. Yes, it may be the last thing you want to do, especially if you’re also affected by another menopausal symptom, lack of motivation, but getting a bit of a sweat on can do wonders for your mind as well as your body. Start off small – a 20-minute walk a day, or a few lengths of the pool. Think strength based/body weigh exercise too.
Stay off the alcohol for a bit
Alcohol depresses the central nervous system affecting our mood, sabotages the body’s ability to sleep properly, lowers the level of serotonin in our brains, intensifies negative feelings and reduces our inhibitions.
Go sober if you can or limit your intake. Think alcohol as a foe rather than friend.
Stick to a routine
When we are feeling low, it is easy to let normal routines slide. It is a vicious cycle, especially when it comes to the basics – food and sleep.
Try to stick to schedule with meals. It may sound strange, but low mood often leads to a loss of appetite which means you forget to eat or purposely skip meals. Not feeding your body the good stuff it needs to function properly will not help your head.
Make sure you go to bed at a similar time each night and put your phone down and switch the telly off a couple of hours before, as the blue light they emit disrupts your natural sleep-wake cycle.
